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This is not how it's supposed to be and I don't even know what to do with it. And if dad is the only one willing to do this with him, he likely wants to spend more time with him and associates him as the "fun parent. It's also a very difficult time for him and the implications of adolescence will be part of the mix.
Now, I don't actually think it is appropriate, as I don't want to reward this bad behaviour. This caused them anxiety and led to behaviour problems. You could also ask if he wants to write a note for you to read—either right away or after he's in bed. Here are a few situations: - After he comes back from school. Small Talk: How to Get Your Kid to Chat About Her Day Your Child Is Hiding Something "I think my child's lying—or at least avoiding the truth—about the kinds of things he's doing. Now they just roll their eyes and say, "You totally don't understand. " It can feel wrong and arbitrary. However, these emotions lurk under the mind's surface and rush to the forefront whenever the mind isn't distracted. "That's the fastest way to get him to clam up again, " says Faber. My son does not want to see his father. This technique is called reflective listening.
I'm going to keep doing my best for him and hopefully, as you said, he'll want to see me again. The first question I would ask is whether you have considered if you and/or your ex are on the autistic spectrum yourselves. Does she fuss for dad to play with her instead of you? That is because video games suppress your emotions. We eventually worked out something to bring him back over but the connection was lost a bit. You are mentally and/or physically abusive towards the child. Don't throw in a comment—the chattering could cease, or they might start texting each other instead! ) The child's behavior is simply a projection of what both parents are feeling- tension, stress, frustration, resistance to change, the resistance to move forward and deal with the current situation. Does Your Son Want Nothing to do with you? | Healthy Gamer. You can learn a lot by studying the instances in which your son acts out. Your son sounds as if he just wants some special 1-to-1 time with you where he's not sharing you with your other children/step-children/partner/family.
Do come back to us and keep talking Rachel, Thanks for all the responses, Im actually his dad, and my wife has kindly posted my dilemma with him on netmums, I can see where you are all coming from but to be honest if I spend one to one time with him he will never go back to anything else ie meeting my wife, 3yr old daughter and step son again..... the reason being is that his mum is extremely unreasonable and wants me to only ever see him when Im on my own anyway. This has been going on for 6 years, with 4 court orders, which she has always tried to alter. He talks back often. You are concerned that the stark differences between your home life and his mum's house are making this harder too. How to Cope with Your Emotions. Have you seen my son. That's your chance to finally eat your meal uninterrupted. I tried to convince him but his mum came on the phone saying he is terrified of me!
Rather than seeing it as your child's rejection, see it as a way for her to spend more time with other adults. This can be hard to grasp if you're not autistic. Indeed, the reason we have three dogs is that we lost the border collie we'd had for 12 years right through the worst of my health issues and the kids growing up and I joke that it took two dogs to full his paws. Mediation could be the next step, but as you have mentioned, that hasn't been easy because the children were there. 12 year old son suddenly doesn't want to see me - – – Legal Eagle – Forum. Or if your usually standoffish child plops down beside you while you're watching TV, pay attention. Thank you for posting on Netmums, I'm Lauren, one of the parent supporters. He locks himself in his room after coming back from school. Which is very unfortunate for the children too. Every problem presents an opportunity if you see it differently. There could be merit in attending mediation though. I'm not surprised you're running out of steam.
You are not honest and the child does not trust you. Take a look at these five powerful ways to respond. ReachOut Parents - My son wont talk to me anymore - Parents forum. Give your child time to answer. It can feel like it had been going on forever—and it doesn't help when it seems like you've tried just about everything with no luck. Hi AndySmith, I am really sorry to hear that you are not currently seeing your son. Think about how you feel after a grueling day. This is a tough one—especially for parents with a natural gift of gab, like Mary MacRae Warren of Brooklyn.
No explanation or phone call, just a text message before my weekend from his mother saying that he wanted to stay at their house this weekend. Hi clovis, Thanks very much for your reply. Im not punishing my wife and the children I live with by leaving them, as he has now phoned me in cahoots with his mum whose sat next to him and he is spouting out a load of lies about my wife and step son - to which my wife was horrified and upset, another thing is he had a massive attitude and was too busy laughing and joking with his mum?! Make the most of it. My son doesn't want to see me anymore. You don't need to start off with anything drastic just something. I might check that in the near future. I'm going to delete the other two duplicate threads, but if you would like me to move this thread to another section then I'm happy to do that.
Both parents are part of the problem. He resists all attempts to interact. That is because the feelings of shame and embarrassment rise to the surface of his mind. So if I was to change something it would be the method in which I tried to have a discussion about things we did not agree on.
Yes ive recorded her walking/staggering back with him and no, no one was interested - as long as shes not a druggy or beating him no one was interested. He may need some guidance and support to do that, as along with the feelings of not being part of that family it might be quite overwhelming for him. You mentioned that you've had health complications with your feet, how is that going? From what you said, he doesn't seem to have siblings at home that are a close age (just a much bigger brother). "It was wonderful to hear him simply talking and laughing again, " says Udell. Any time you feel like you don't hold up that model image of parenthood feels like you've failed somehow. "I don't remember. " 12 Weeks of Parent Coaching: Work with your Healthy Gamer Coach in a group format with up to 5 other families to develop strategies and reflect on progress and setbacks in a supportive environment. Face them or they will never go away. D., a child psychologist in Hewlett, New York. "The truth is that kids this age aren't pulling away from you, really. If anything, make the most of it and see this as an opportunity for other things, like time to yourself or a chance for him to develop a close bond with dad.
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