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Content is reviewed before publication and upon substantial updates. Here are a few ideas on what to say: - That makes perfect sense why you're upset. Sally did not get what she needed from her partner. Learn about our editorial process Updated on December 01, 2022 Medically reviewed Verywell Mind articles are reviewed by board-certified physicians and mental healthcare professionals. Get Help Now We've tried, tested, and written unbiased reviews of the best online therapy programs including Talkspace, Betterhelp, and Regain. Dealing with an angry loved one over text is no easy feat. What to say when someone vents to you on facebook. It seems like the trail of misfortunes will never end. That's why we have the strong urge to jump into doing something about it, even in our minds—it helps distract us from the discomfort of simply sitting and listening. This is very tricky for most of us to accept because being in this situation can make us feel uncomfortable. You can be a great friend that friends can dump their problems on, without internalizing their problems and emotions. Updated: Aug 15, 2022.
The number one pitfall to avoid is offering advice. But this doesn't actively help the person doing the venting to drain their negative emotions. The words rushed out of her mouth but she managed to hold back the usual tears. Check in With Yourself. How to Respond to Someone Venting (35+ Helpful Ways. For example, instead of starting your advice with a more judgmental, "You should have…" you can use an "I" statement such as, "The options I'm seeing are…". Silva Depanian, MA, LMFT, CAMC.
They don't leave space for the other person to talk. Here's how she continued –. Better yet, it helps us articulate our reactions to a particular event. You are looking for someone to sympathize with you. By being a space of compassionate listening for them, you allow them to empty themselves of pain. Your friend vents to you nonstop or seems to always be in crisis. "Things will get better". They want your ear to listen, and maybe even a shoulder to cry on. What to say to someone venting. Taking solutions off the table does not leave you helpless. What does venting mean emotionally? If something has not turned out the way it should, and you feel that another individual or group of individuals is to blame, you will naturally experience: - Disappointment. Some seemingly interested, connected, and validating responses from the listener might include: - "Oh wow, " "Nice!
Express remorse for your actions and follow that with a sincere promise to do better in the future. You do include: - follow-up questions, - responses that have empathy, - and body language that shows you're being authentic. Can men sense when you're turned on? Set an initial boundary. You do not need to agree with the person venting. What to say when someone vents to you meaning. While you are playing the role of the listener, analyze the situation from their perspective. Maybe your close friend is angry with you for forgetting to invite them to a group hangout. Licensed Clinical Social Worker. Or perhaps your friend is going through a particularly rough patch in their life and doesn't seem to be handling it well.
You worry about their issues more than you do about your own well-being. Here's a typical scenario-. Follow Now: Apple Podcasts / Spotify / Google Podcasts Practice Self-Care When you are regularly there for an emotionally draining friend, the best thing you can do for yourself is to counteract the stress you experience from your interactions with positive experiences. How to Respond When Someone is Venting at You. You know, he's trying to get rid of me. Are they coming to you for solutions and ideas or just as an ear to listen?
He actually ripped into her in front of her colleagues at work. Clarifying questions might sound like: - "What was the hardest part about this for you? Ask the other person that and they'll probably realize that the situation is not that important. But you have to give them the feeling that you're with them. Are Your Friends Emotionally Draining You. Would it be helpful for me to share my thoughts back with you? Do not try to change how they feel or their point of view. That's not a very pleasant experience for anyone! There is no holding container and there is no safe space between you. Venting is a cathartic release. Ask them what they think would make things better. "Why are they looking so angry and frustrated?
Make sure you don't try to take on a role you're not qualified for. Validate their perspective. You may, on occasion, run into someone who vents often. It's their perception. These mentally draining situations will eventually wear you out. How do you feel about being on the receiving end? Or should you just listen? So, when someone is venting, figure out how you're feeling: - If you are purely interested and want to listen—go for it.
Trauma dumping doesn't involve boundaries to protect the time, feelings, or needs of the person on the receiving end. Do not be tempted to jump in with comments or advice unless they ask for it. Ask for consent to offer a solution with a text like, "Is there anything we can do to resolve this? Is it okay if we talk about this [suggest a time that may work better for you emotionally and even logistically]?
Venting relieves stress, and the person feels lighter and relaxed after experiencing an emotional storm. Ask questions like: - "What is it that is upsetting? Trying to be rational in the face of upset is wasted energy and often produces resentment. Focus on their feelings. The venting process will bring you closer.
Here's the number one killer of marriages and relationships of all types right here. If that is the case, it's important that you distance yourself from this friend. Check if there are any leftover thoughts and feelings, then seek closure. When someone is upset by hurt or anger, it is not the time to point out what seems like irrationality to you. So you work harder for the team.
Offer an Alternative While it's tempting for a friend to rely solely on another for support and advice, this expectation is often too much responsibility for one person. Below are suggested responses to help you and the venter get to a better place: - "I get that you're angry. Tell us how we can improve this post? The entire conversation is focused on the trauma. Bottom line: Responses to venting can vary and depend on what the venting individual seeks from the listener. The detection of sexual arousal through smell may function as an additional channel in the communication of sexual interest and provide further verification of human sexual interest.
There is another path. In fact, with the weight of needing to solve problems off of the listener's shoulders, more options become available. Pay attention to your use of words, punctuation, and emojis. Responding to their details is only necessary for clarification and trying to understand what they mean genuinely.